We, as a community suicide prevention initiative, have
come a long way from where we started. But how
did the Retreat come to be, and why?
He tawhiti tō mātou haere mai, hei kaupapa ārai mate whakamomori hapori, mai i te wāhi i tīmata mai ai mātou. Engari i pēhea te ara mai o te Punanga, ā, he aha ai?
Carrie Allen, aged 12
From Tragedy to Hope
Mai i te Aituā ki te Tūmanako
In September 2012, a family in Taranaki buried their beautiful twelve-year-old daughter, Carrie. She had experienced a rough ride in her short life, and her beautiful sisters and parents loved her so dearly, and continue to love and miss her so very very much. Through this loss, they had experienced the worst time
in their lives - and, through that experience, had also known some tremendous care.
Mai i te Aituā ki te Tūmanako
In September 2012, a family in Taranaki buried their beautiful twelve-year-old daughter, Carrie. She had experienced a rough ride in her short life, and her beautiful sisters and parents loved her so dearly, and continue to love and miss her so very very much. Through this loss, they had experienced the worst time
in their lives - and, through that experience, had also known some tremendous care.
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Karakia for the new site, and for all that it would stand for...
During her illness, the experience of stays at Ronald McDonald house was significant :
Also significant was the experience of others going through different kinds of losses. How hard it was to find similar compassion and understanding if the tragedy was with mental health - it carried such a terrible stigma. How difficult it was to know what to do following, for example, an overdose by a loved-one, when they returned home from ED. What next - both for that person, and their friends? It turned out that 'business as usual' could lead to the ultimate loss.
There were two terrible suicides which prompted a move from wringing hands in despair to rolling up the sleeves in action. We understood that it was the responsibility of the WHOLE COMMUNITY to bring about the change we wanted to see - not the health service, or the government, but US! How could ordinary people express the compassion and provide the simple hospitality that might make a difference?
People began to share their stories... and how they wanted to see things change in the future. How could they help with the plan?
Finally, an experience away on Retreat - of a caring environment and 'getting away from it all' - prompted the same family to sell their house, buddy up with others feeling similar hope and wondering about similar possibilities. A charitable trust was formed in 2014; the land was purchased, and intense volunteer work began on bringing it to fruition.
The Hurford Road site was chosen because of its centrality (the Retreat was to be for ALL of Taranaki, and beyond) - but also its relative proximity to New Plymouth - so that volunteers wouldn't be too far away - and so that transport services would be relatively close on hand. The beautiful site spoke to us with :
- No charge for the stay - no being leant on to pay for things you just couldn't manage in the middle of crisis. Stuff was bad enough already, without extra bills added in.
- The staff understood about trauma and how it affected people. So - a readiness to care, and - all that it was possible to cover off - done!
- From time to time, local businesses would come in and cook a meal for all the residents. Over the dished up sossies - you knew that they knew (and understood). Their compassion and understanding went a long, long way.
- Being around others, walking a similar path - helped battle a sense of isolation in your situation.
Also significant was the experience of others going through different kinds of losses. How hard it was to find similar compassion and understanding if the tragedy was with mental health - it carried such a terrible stigma. How difficult it was to know what to do following, for example, an overdose by a loved-one, when they returned home from ED. What next - both for that person, and their friends? It turned out that 'business as usual' could lead to the ultimate loss.
There were two terrible suicides which prompted a move from wringing hands in despair to rolling up the sleeves in action. We understood that it was the responsibility of the WHOLE COMMUNITY to bring about the change we wanted to see - not the health service, or the government, but US! How could ordinary people express the compassion and provide the simple hospitality that might make a difference?
People began to share their stories... and how they wanted to see things change in the future. How could they help with the plan?
Finally, an experience away on Retreat - of a caring environment and 'getting away from it all' - prompted the same family to sell their house, buddy up with others feeling similar hope and wondering about similar possibilities. A charitable trust was formed in 2014; the land was purchased, and intense volunteer work began on bringing it to fruition.
The Hurford Road site was chosen because of its centrality (the Retreat was to be for ALL of Taranaki, and beyond) - but also its relative proximity to New Plymouth - so that volunteers wouldn't be too far away - and so that transport services would be relatively close on hand. The beautiful site spoke to us with :
- The view of the sea in the distance
- Its raw, rural, true-Taranaki style (with the cattle slowly walking past in the paddock next door)
- The presence of the flowing water bringing the elements of peace, refreshment and freshness (including the place where two waters meet)
- The beautiful drive of anticipation to the site
- ...and, of course, the uninterrupted view of Te Maunga tapu o Taranaki
The "Lodge" - nearly complete!
Building and Fundraising
Te Waihanga me te Tuku Pūtea
Starting a new venture takes time, care, hope.... and a LOT of trailer-loads of metal!
Every widget, spade, cable, connector, brick, chunk of timber..... was negotiated at the best possible price - or blagged. The bare paddock was gradually - piece by piece - transformed - thanks to an extraordinary crew. There were plenty of dramas and fishhooks, as you'd imagine - resource and building consents; getting power to the site was a challenge - as was finding the right waste-water system... and deciding what to do with the valley that was a charming aspect of the site. We hosted some amazing guys on a WINZ scheme called "Project in the Community" who dreamed up "Dragonfly Valley" with its beautiful Boardwalks.
Fundraising and Grant Applications were a slow-starter - impossible to progress until there was something worth investing in. But gradually, people hopped on board, and the site was developed. A local building firm assisted hugely with bringing the project home - and the Lodge was built by the hands of many master-builders, all of whom (incredibly kindly) donated their time.
Beauty was an important element of the site for us. We wanted it to look and feel lovely and peaceful - and safe (like a secret garden, filled with fruit trees, shrubs, flowers and homegrown veggies) - but most of that had to wait until the majority of the build process had been completed (trucks and tractors not being too kind to seedlings). We also determined that the site would be organic - we wanted to be as kind to the land as we knew the land would be kind to us.
Te Waihanga me te Tuku Pūtea
Starting a new venture takes time, care, hope.... and a LOT of trailer-loads of metal!
Every widget, spade, cable, connector, brick, chunk of timber..... was negotiated at the best possible price - or blagged. The bare paddock was gradually - piece by piece - transformed - thanks to an extraordinary crew. There were plenty of dramas and fishhooks, as you'd imagine - resource and building consents; getting power to the site was a challenge - as was finding the right waste-water system... and deciding what to do with the valley that was a charming aspect of the site. We hosted some amazing guys on a WINZ scheme called "Project in the Community" who dreamed up "Dragonfly Valley" with its beautiful Boardwalks.
Fundraising and Grant Applications were a slow-starter - impossible to progress until there was something worth investing in. But gradually, people hopped on board, and the site was developed. A local building firm assisted hugely with bringing the project home - and the Lodge was built by the hands of many master-builders, all of whom (incredibly kindly) donated their time.
Beauty was an important element of the site for us. We wanted it to look and feel lovely and peaceful - and safe (like a secret garden, filled with fruit trees, shrubs, flowers and homegrown veggies) - but most of that had to wait until the majority of the build process had been completed (trucks and tractors not being too kind to seedlings). We also determined that the site would be organic - we wanted to be as kind to the land as we knew the land would be kind to us.
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Some of the hard work that went into the construction of the Retreat. We created boardwalks and sandbag walls, built structures and laid concrete, among many, many other things.
Mike King opening the Retreat
Listening and Learning
Whakarongo me Akoranga
While the physical build process was going on, the Trust Board were kept busy developing the governance model that would underpin the work of the Retreat. Lessons were learned through much careful listening to where the gaps were in the community; the deficits; the needs. Where people were slipping through. We listened to and learnt from:
Gradually, we understood what we were to be here for. After three years of that listening, careful learning, building, fundraising, setbacks, and incredible support from the community; dry-runs at hosting people; loads of meetings and careful training; building up our volunteer base - in March 2017, the site was officially opened by Mike King, with a
capacity crowd taking a look around.
Whakarongo me Akoranga
While the physical build process was going on, the Trust Board were kept busy developing the governance model that would underpin the work of the Retreat. Lessons were learned through much careful listening to where the gaps were in the community; the deficits; the needs. Where people were slipping through. We listened to and learnt from:
- Whānau who had experienced loss through suicide
- People struggling for their voice to be heard
- Those supporting children and young people dealing with depression, self-harm or suicidal thoughts
- Those enduring loss
- Kaupapa Māori healthcare organisations
- Clinicians with the DHBs, in private practice, and in other social service organisations
- The wealth of amazing services there are in Taranaki
- Other regions / similar facilities in the world / Suicide Prevention Trusts
- Suicidologists and authors who had written extensively on the subject
Gradually, we understood what we were to be here for. After three years of that listening, careful learning, building, fundraising, setbacks, and incredible support from the community; dry-runs at hosting people; loads of meetings and careful training; building up our volunteer base - in March 2017, the site was officially opened by Mike King, with a
capacity crowd taking a look around.
Karakia at the opening. There were a few drops of rain that day...
