Kotahitanga - The road is long but the journey is never dull

Kia ore e te whānau
​
Back in your inbox. During our e-newsletter break, we've had a bit of a re-jig! 
From feedback received, we disovered that:
- Most people preferred a fortnightly over a weekly newsletter
- Some folks prefer a monthly newsletter (if this is you, please reply to this message and let us know - and we'll sort that. We'd far rather keep you, than lose you because you're feeling deluged.)
- People would find the following information most useful to know; and we will be using these four key update areas:
1. The difference that your support is making
2. A brief update from day-to-day life at the Retreat
3. Where there are specifc needs - what they are!
4. Some reflective / uplifting content 

The Difference that Your Support is Making
This week, I'd like to talk about our Core Work. Because this, overall, is what the community and our donors are enabling to happen. And it's incredible:
Today's figures: We have an open caseload of 269 people. That includes people who are:

• Just today, right now, putting their hand up to explore whether the Retreat might be the support they need.
• Discerning, with our Team, what the right supports may be. This is not a process we rush; we don't believe in quick fixes. So; we take time to get to know people and their situation, and to co-design a pathway through stuff
• Part of our Outreach Support - perhaps attending our Postvention support groups / our Building Mates Programme / our Alternative to Self-Harm / our Grief Supports / Accessing Relationship Support
• With us as Residential Guests - staying at the Retreat and living amongst us; working with their Peer Support Worker and accessing the BEST that we can offer
• Receiving regular check-ins, by their preferred method of contact
• Regularly keeping an online journey, with one our team alongside them as a buddy to feedback, comment and encourage
• Receiving ongoing funded support such as Counselling, Arts Therapy or Life Coaching
• Working with one of our Staff Team - maybe our Social Workers (which could include whole whānau input), or our Whānau Leader, receiving cultural support, or our Outreach Leader, receiving Hardship Support and catch-ups at home over a coffee
• Part of our followup care programme; transitioning out of our Support Framework (but knowing that our door is always open); being awhi'd on their ongoing journey.... YIPPPEEE!

It's crucial to us that, once people have made the massive (often hardest-of-all) step of reaching out, that we keep our eye on the ball; so members of our Staff and Volunteer Team are assigned as Kaiawhina to each person. Their role is proactively keeping contact; to avoid the situation where people withdraw, because it's all in the too hard basket. This takes a whole team highly committed approach, overseen by our Service Leader (Suzy) and our EO (Jamie) who make sure there are always, always backstops, reviews and, with the consent of the people we're working with, liaison with our services who may be involved, so that we're working together, and not in silos! 

This is the day-to-day bread and butter of our mahi - and it is the outcome of the support of incredibly kind people like you. We truly are all in this together. 

Kia ora e te whānau

Greetings to you as another week has flown - wet and coldly - by.  Does it feel to you that life is speeding back up again?  Some shared with us how helpful they found sloooowing down, and a less crowded calendar. Others really struggled with being told to stay at home and felt trapped in the four walls. Still others of us found a kind of safety in that.  We had to do a bit less.  Now that everything is back open, we are getting back to perhaps where we were before - and not all of us want to go back to that.
 
Like many other organisations, things became tougher for the Retreat's work through Levels 3 and 4, and much of our work had to be done online or on the phone - it's never the same, eh. But there were learnings too - ways in which we discovered we could decrease traffic to our site - and therefore keep things more peaceful, by moving some team meetings online, and arranging more catch-ups in the community. 

Bonus, more time to be alongside our Guests and those we're working with at home! 
If this post-lockdown period feels strange and uncertain to you, it could because we are now having to re-assess and make decisions about how we prefer to do somethings, having been forced to try out different ways of doing life.  Many of us missed having the treat of a take away, but some found that actually they enjoyed being more adventurous with their cooking instead.  Sometimes it is good to look at everyday things in a new light and consider changing it up and sometimes the absence makes us even more sure we want to keep that in our lives.  Like hongi, shaking hands and hugging :). What a relief to be able to connect physically again!


To keep our doors open, a gnarly chunk of my time is spent assembling applications to every single possible grant-making body there is! It's a heap of admin, spectacularly tedious, and depressing fruitless most of the time.... I am determined that, one day, we will find the route to some kind of social enterprise or corporate funding solution that will mean the Retreat's programmes are sustainably funded. It's there, somewhere - just needs a stroke of genius.

So many applications boil down to quanatitive analysis (how many of this, that or the other); I find it a diminishing process for the mana of those we support trying to put a measure, or draw a graph that expresses "the value" of our mahi.  People's lives are not easily depicted with statistics which make a nice pie chart; we are not numbers, and are much more complex beings than that - and we strongly stand against quick-fix approaches (guess what; they don't work!). Working on the narrative part of a grant application this morning, I was so moved to read this chunk of feedback (below) from an awesome Guest who had just completed one of our programmes.

Feedback is critically important to us; indeed a constant process of listening, learning and improving what we do is built into the Retreat's policies and procedures. We made it so that we had to be intentional about this - knowing that the most vital source of learning for any caring organisation, are the stories - those whose lived experience, tears, laughter and narrative teaches us constantly what was most needed - where, and when, and how. We don't and can't get it right every time, whānau, but we do do a merry dance of celebration where something has worked well. 

Working with Liz, the Retreat's Life Coach, has been lifechanging. I've had a safe and neutral space in which I have been able to navigate dark corners, had reliable and practical love and support and built the confidence to dream about what my ideal life would look like moving ahead. I'm so happy (and proud) to say that thanks to Liz's support, reflections and guidance, I'm now living that life - I still have to pinch myself! Liz believed in me and cheered me on when I didn't think I was worthy of all that I have now and I'll never forget my time working with her. She's down to earth, real, warm and one of the very best things I've ever allowed myself to receive. Thank you so much, Liz & the team at Taranaki Retreat. You've all completely transformed my entire life. xxx

I believe that Coaching is one of the best tools in our kete - and, indeed, that we have the very finest practitioner on our Team, offering it. Liz embodies heart-and-wairua the Retreat's 'way' - and that's this... empathy:

Kia ora e te whānau
Its been week of extremes in Taranaki.  Ranging from beautiful, unseasonably warm days with our majestic maunga in full view, to torrential, unstoppable rain and flooding.  The streams we have on stie are mostly gentle trickles around the site.  Yet last week they turned into raging rivers, levels rising alarmingly and flooding the delighted ducks in their area.  We can see still the marks in the banks of how high the streams rose, the acculmulation of debris brought in by the extra water and grass flattened around the edges.  The water only stayed very high for a few hours and then settled down but the effects can still be seen.  Sometimes life is like that for us.  Something happens that overwhelms us with its intensity, the intiail event can be relatively short-lived but often the consequences linger and stay with us for a long time afterwards.  How do we cope with the crisis and then the after effects?
At our daily reflection-time on that downpour day, we ventured where angels sometimes fear to tread. We talked about our tears. Bloke-tears; pent-up tears; tears we brush aside; the tears that won't seem to surface when needed; where tears have been 'disallowed' or 'against the rules', or 'a sign of weakness' in childhood, or in a particular relationship. Where tears are a 'trigger' from our past. The spectacular rainfall of that day was powerfully symbolic of what was being carried, not just by those present for the refleciton, but much more widely, by our community's grief and loss. I wonder where all that tear-related negativity comes from, in our social or cultural wiring; I see that it was something I trotted out when I was younger, because that was what I had been taught and modelled (the cry-baby stuff). I guess it's something to do with the stiff upper lip or to do with a mistaken view that expressing emotion is somehow embarrassing or awkward - like we would do better to pretend to be androids or something. Yet it's generally ok to laugh - and that’s just another physical expression of a feeling deep within. Crying can activate the body in a healthy way. Studies of the various kinds of tears have found that emotional tears contain higher levels of stress hormones than do reflex tears (the ones that form when you get something in your eye). 

We often talk, at the Retreat, of keeping your tanks topped up.  That means remembering to do some of that stuff that energises you, whether it is spending time with loved ones, friends, going for a walk, doing gardening, watching a good movie, enjoying a good coffee outdoors - whatever it is.  It is important to keep on top of the good stuff, so that we have reserves to deal with life's curved balls. Our Life Coaching encourages this especially and Coach-Liz works with people to help them identify the good stuff as well as offering techniques to deal with the negative (or 'red zone') stuff.  A new way of seeing our own situation can make all the difference. Our Outreach Support Workers also offer support, with a compassionate, caring, one-on-one peer-support approach.  Haivng someone who is on your team and there to offer a listening ear can make all the difference.  We also offer a buddied up, secure, online journaling system, where many write regularly as an outlet. This journaling or blogging is done alongside your buddy who is there to encourage you as well as reflect when, just maybe, you are being too harsh on yourself!  Regular journaling can be truly healing - especially when we find it difficult to speak the words. It offers an outlet for thoughts that may be churning or racing; getting them down on 'paper' can be a true relief and a release. Over time, we begin to spot our own patterns and notice tricky defaults before they become a problem once again!  It takes that bit of discipline to journal regularly (how many of us have started a new diary... done those first couple of entries, then happened upon the book a few months later....!). Interested in giving it a go? Drop us a reply to this email to learn more.

sulk.  He doesn't worry about what might happen, he never has a problem sleeping! ​

A cellphone provider ran an advertising campaign a few years ago called Be More Dog, which seems to sum it up qiute well.  Sometimes our worries stop us enjoying a good moment, refocussing our attention on the good things we have, giving them more attention, can help balance out all that we are going through.  The Retreat's ethos is summed up in 'Space to Breathe'.  But that's a way of life, rather than a specific place. This newsletter comes with encouragement to make that space, snatch moments of it if necessary in our busy lives; to counter all the busyness.
​
Thank you for being part of the conversation, and for taking the time to read our newsletter - we always, always value your responses, and simply being 'all in this together' :)

Arohanui, Jamie
EO, Taranaki Retreat

Poetry Book
Liz, our Life Coach often finds that when people start the journey of reconnecting back to themselves and finding the things that really bring them joy, it is people's creative side that has long been surpressed/pushed down/pushed under the bed/stuffed in a cupboard or forgotten about altogether...
Often, Liz finds that this can be poetry, how people used to love to write and let the words flow, how it used to be healing/inspiring or bring hope.
So now Liz is on a mission to get a poetry book published with a collection of people's works, be it poetry or prose, as a fundraiser for the Retreat.
Are you keen to be part of this project? Would you like to see your work in print? Have you been looking for a way to support the Retreat, but not sure how? Maybe this is it!
Keen to know more? Please email Liz at coachliz@taranakiretreat.org.nz

Kotahihanga - Recovery Together: We Got This

​Kia ora e te whānau,

We are so thankful to be able to be fully operational for our Residential Guests - it has been a looooong haul operating through our Community Outreach without the Safe Sanctuary of the Retreat to be alongside people in need of that extra Space to Breathe.
We acknowledge the tough challenges of these unprecedented times - and this last week has seen a huge influx of people reaching out for support. We are just so thankful that people are indeed reaching out.
We have heard that 'unprecedented' word so much recently. Yet, on a personal level, so much of what we have to deal with is unprecedented for us.  Life is full of changes as we grow up, as our family changes, relationships evolve, jobs, children, housing - the list of situations we have to face, that we have never faced before, is huge.  And that is why the Retreat exists; the pearl formed from the grit of suffering.  We firmly believe that we all need support at some point in our lives, no matter our background. 

​There is no shame in asking for help; our whole team have faced their own challenges, and know that life throws us curve balls that sometimes are too big to catch on their own.  Sometimes the supporters need to be supported and sometimes the supported can become the supporters.   The very existence of the Retreat, which was built through huge gifts of time as well as money by this community shows without a doubt that we are all in this together and to survive we need to look out for each other.  

Kotahihanga - It ain't easy, reaching out
​
Kia ora, e te Whānau,

Always been the strong one? 

Find it massively awkward to ask for support? 
Are you caring for others? Sometimes it feels like a juggling act!  


Sometimes the hardest thing going can be putting up your hand for that little bit of support. We know that feeling of not wanting to be a burden on others; yet deep-down we know reaching out to someone who we trust or someone we have a connection with........... can help.  It goes back to that old saying, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.  The moment we reach out to someone who we confide in, it allows us to process what is happening for us. It can feel hard to ask for help when we’re always the ones that needs to be strong for others, but connecting and sharing our stuff with someone who is open to listening, can make a a world of difference. We feel lighter, have space to heal, forgive others AND ourselves. 

Kotahitanga- unity, connectedness, collective action and collaborative recovery
Aroha - that well-used vital word - translates as showing love and appreciation to someone. It is an action word; how do you show love and support to someone you care about?  Sometimes going the extra mile to call someone,  instead of texing or using social media to communicate, can show loved ones that you have put in the effort to maintain that relationship. Acts of kindness are gold. Never underestimate the power of ‘showing up, or being there' for somebody. Often we don’t realise that our loved ones are just waiting for that opportunity to share and connect. If you haven’t heard from them for a while, check in, make an effort, show up, make the time for that cup of tea.

And don't forget about you.  Self care is just as important as feeding your cats, or your children. It never helps to deny your wairua the nourishment that it needs to endure the long haul. So remember, 'Do more of the things that light your soul up’. 
​
The purpose of community is the uphold the philosophy of ‘no one gets left behind’.  A whakatauki or proverb that we may have heard time to time, ‘e Waka eke noa’ a canoe which we are all in with no exception’  or 'Naku to rou rou nou Te rou rou, ka ora ai te iwi e' - with your basket and my basket, the people will be well. These whakatauki highlight the importance of collective action, community and connectedness.  
​
The Retreat is made up of a beautiful whānau of volunteers and staff; we are a wonderfully eclectic mix - each one bringing our lived-experience with us. Our objective is to match the need shared to the right support person from that mix; so that, when you do reach out, there is a good connection waiting for you. Sometimes, people find the easiest way is to reach out, as if their inquiry were for someone else... telling the story, and speaking hypothetically. We welcome that approach too.

Why not click this link right now, and start the process of halving that problem? 

With much aroha from us lot, on behalf of the well-over 100 people who make up our team.

There's a inevitable frustration that comes with the not-knowing, and that's having an impact - sometimes in subtle ways - and, for some of us, in running low on patience. 
Those of us who are planners need order where there's that lack of clarity - or even a stressful feeling of chaos and overload. With that in mind - having a go at "if this, then that" - as a scribbled flowchart can be helpful to mind, if it is racing.

The Retreat is here as part of a tapestry of a Community doing 'Recovery Together" - Kotahitanga. Last week we shared some of the contents of kete for support through Grief and Loss.  This week our focus is on Tough Times. Economics. As most of us have experienced, financial problems can impact every area of our lives, and easily spiral out of control.  Some of us face the terrors of that spiral right here, right now. We want to support you and yours through this.... We have excellent friendships with Budget Services and Grant-Making Bodies - we can help you when you're just not sure where to turn. 

In our Kete for Tough-Times, we also offer:

1. Support from our Awesome Coach
What does the next chapter look like?  Know something needs to change but not sure what?  Time spent with our Life Coach can give a fresh perspective on where you are at, a reminder of what is important, some understanding of what might have got in the way in the past, and what may be some new avenues to pursue next.

2. A Business Brainstorm
A session with a business coach may help bring some clarity on what your options are or some ideas as as to how the business can be tweaked in these changing times.  Maybe you are thinking of going self-employed or starting something and want to have a chat with someone as to whether this is viable or what some next steps might be.

3. Outreach Support Visits/Advocacy
Regular, informal catch ups face to face with a support worker to chat and be listened to. It’s a regular get together to discuss what’s been happening for you and to download what’s on your mind. This can be done in a place you are comfortable and feel safe, such as a visit to Taranaki Retreat or somewhere else like a cafe, the park or a beach.

4. Support Checkins
For some people, meeting face to face can be challenging. We understand that everyone is different and has their own way of doing things or perhaps you live out of the area but still need to chat? Whatever method you prefer to use to communicate is no problem for us. We can catch up regularly with you via email, phone, text or Skype to name a few.
​
5. Health and Wellbeing sessions
Self care is an essential part of our wellbeing, and even more so when things are tough.  Sadly it is often the thing that goes out the window first.  These sessions come in many forms, and can be a great starting place to ensure that we are filling up our tanks first.  When we have our tanks full we have much more capacity to deal with what we are facing at the time, whether this be finding a job, dealing with staff, communicating with WINZ, starting a new venture.

We know these are tough times for many but if you are in position to offer some help, please consider supporting us.  You can make a donation easily from our website or if you like to know exactly where your money will be used you can choose to Shout someone a stay, or a therapeutic session or a meal - have a look here for the options available.  We appreciate every donation made towards our work, it all adds up to make a difference.  Together, we can BE the change we want to see.   And if you have a great fundraising idea (right now we need to think about alternative and out-of-the-box ways to fundraise) then we would love to hear from you!

No reira, tēna koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katou.
​
Jamie Allen, Executive Officer and a guy who wishes he had the hair left to shave...