"I can't talk to my family about this Liz, they all tell me I'm the strong one, and that I've got my shit together."

But even the strong ones need that hug sometimes, that reassurance, that space, that support, that encouragement.  The strong ones also need the faith and belief, the compassion, the buddy to walk the path with them

If you are a strong one who is propping so many up, who is supporting and encouraging, but then goes home and sobs, or can feel that pent up stuff building in your body, please send us a message.  You can simply say I can't be strong anymore and we can start the conversation from there.

You do not have to walk this journey on your own.  We see you, we hear you.  We get it.

Get in touch, either for you or for someone else.  ​https://www.taranakiretreat.org.nz/contactus.html

This is a conversation I have been having with many different people, and not just during coaching sessions. 

One particular one was at a recent Book Club Session.  The Book Club that I run is a bit different, in that we don't all read the same book, we read whatever it is we want to read, and then share it with the rest of the group.  It always leads to some awesome discussions along the way, and often we find that a thread weaves it way subtly through the different books we bring and the conversations that follow.  Sometimes there is no thread at all!

This last one, was so definitely a thread...  I spoke of a book I had been reading that was written in such a way that was spoke in to what we make things mean about us.  The author did really well to get inside the different character's heads and the chatter that can often be going on for us.

Another member brought an autobiography of a man that had transitioned in to a woman, and their journey of self-acceptance,  another shared some poetry, and another a light-hearted book that sparked a discussion on what I call bandaids, things we do or use to cover up pain that we are feeling.

I also shared Brene Brown's book Braving the Wilderness, where she talks about belonging and it was at that point that the themes started weaving, that we can often let others off the hook, but be so judgemental of ourselves, and when we are able to be kinder and more accepting of ourselves, we are able to really connect back to who we are, and feel that sense of belonging within ourselves and the world we live in.

Sometimes I feel the most connected out in nature.  By a river or a waterfall, watching the waves pound in just a few steps away from where I am standing, feeling the sand between my toes as I walk along the beach.  It may be the sunrise or seeing the sun set, being on top of a mountain, or deep in to the green of the bush, with just the birds singing their tune around us.

When I started seeing that I simply belong to me (hence the journey of self-love and acceptance) and belonging to this world as a whole, something seemed to settle and rest easier for me.

session, this person had very gently started to open up again.

A few days later, I saw them again, and thanks to the love and support and activities they had joined in with at the Retreat, there was such a marked difference in their vibe.

They paused, as they came in to the Coach House, and read the message on the white board, slowly taking it in.  I acknowledged the changes I felt from them, and they confirmed that they were feeling very different.

We carried on with the session and near the end we were talking about how when we are looking after ourselves, giving ourselves that self-love, care and attention, we top up our tanks and we do start to walk taller, breathe deeper and look outward more.

I pointed out to this courageous lady that the white board had been there the previous time, and that the message had been there the previous time as well.  But when we are struggling, down, when we are closed up, or closed off, we literally don't see what there is around us.  When we are topped up, we start to notice more, spot opportunities, get in to conversations, have clarity as to what we are after, and it blows me away, every time, what can come in to our life when we are coming from that topped up, green zone, kinda place.

If you are honest with yourself, where do you feel you are at now?  Self care isn't just about pretty nails and spas, it really needs to be a non-negotiable in our lives for so many reasons, and this is only one of them.