Observing and interacting with the natural world has got me through some really tough times. I thought I would try to share my methods in case they might work for you too.

Perhaps I will sit or lie down and look at the small creatures living their busy lives at ground level. I wonder what they are doing and why. Are they making decisions? Or I find a patch of bush or even a single urban tree and look up, admiring the 3-dimensional engineering and beauty of nature.

Look at all the colours! Soothing shades of greens, greys and browns, maybe the striking pink of aerial pohutukawa roots or a shocking yellow lichen. I breathe deeply and am thankful for the oxygen this tree provides.

Another day I challenge myself to engage all my senses in appreciating Papatuanuku. Filtering out the intrusions of modern life and really listening brings an unexpected variety of sounds to my attention. The birdsong is delightful but the calls of insects are more subtle.

The wind has many voices and there may be a soothing background of flowing water. Smells often take longer to tune in to but provide another dimension and sometimes a fleeting distant memory floats in with them. And so many different textures to feel!

Occasionally something warrants a taste test, a spicy kawakawa or some nutritious chickweed. I am regularly amazed by where plants manage to grow. Perched on other plants, sprouting out of walls and pavements seemingly without any soil to sustain them, or climbers defying gravity in their search for the sun. These things are truly awesome Nature is always there, whatever my mood and whatever the weather!

​On a windy, wet day I can still see birds going about their business in the rain. Some of them seem to positively enjoy stormy conditions and make me wish I could fly and soar with them!

Kia ora e te whānau
E ngā iwi o te Motu; ānei mātou te whakaruruhau o te kotahitanga e whakatau ana ia koutou, tautokohia, hāpaitia tēnei kaupapa: A co-design, research and co-production process kicked-off in 2014 resulted in the launch of Taranaki Retreat as a response to a significant need in Aotearoa New Zealand for a peer-support service that included a residential "Space to Breathe".
Those doors nervously opened in 2017.  Five years on, we are taking a 'Pause Moment' with you, our support whānau, to look back and look forward. So, please, grab a cuppa, be comfortable, and take a moment for reflection and thanksgiving for all that has been, and all that is yet to come!
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Here's the paddock where we began. And.... Here's what it looks like to walk in, these days! Our "Space to Breathe" is a beautiful trauma-informed sanctuary, and speaks gentle volumes.

• It is regularly blessed for purpose, and opens the arms of the whānau, the pets and the community to express hope, awhi and restoration.
• It is with pride, at every Induction of new groups of whānau and individuals arriving, we tell the true story that everything the surrounds and awaits is the community's gift - a physical expression of compassion and understanding.
• The kaupapa is... people supporting people: People gave the land, the buildings, the plants, the kai; they knitted the blankets and dug the trenches, and then, five years ago, said, "Nau mai, haere mai - Welcome."
• Bit by bit, the site has been added to, as we've fundraised, beautified, built and learned from each person who has stayed or visited ("What helps? What doesn't help?!"). A PhD Research Project and External Evaluation work has been crucial in guiding us. Our Host Whānau have cooked, cleaned, cared, cheered and cried alongside each of the thousands of individuals and whānau who have found "Space to Breathe" here.

Entering into our support network is simple. You can phone, text, email, rock up at Waimanako, or hit up our support portal, right here.

• Even now, new building work is happening on the site - Cathy's Care Centre, which will bring us extra support/counselling space, an accessible bathroom, and a Reception/Team mahi area is so very nearly complete! Newsflash that the gib started going up this week:

​Our five-year birthday is our time to acknowledge what the community has given, and continues to give, through this Space to Breathe.

• The Ministry of Health published the report Every Life Matters in 2019 with specifc action points for suicide prevention in Aotearoa New Zealand. The report specifically recognises “Government agencies have a responibility to lead some components of this work but cannot reduce suicide on their own.  They need to support services and communities to lead other components”.
• Ms Carla na Nagara (former director of the national suicide prevention office) commented back then, “Through my work as a coroner I’ve seen that suicide is not always the result of a mental health problem or a simple moment of distress.To be understood it needs to be seen in the wider context of a person’s life…….we need to do more.”

Taranaki Retreat is a place and a people seeking to walk exactly this talk. Reading this, you are part of this movement for social change, too. Thank you.

Our Host Whānau and Peer Support Team will, as ever, be welcoming new Guests into the space and providing the opportunity for really focussed support - not beset by the environmental/situational stressors which so often make it impossible for us to discern 'a way forward' - but held by the aroha of a community and a nation that is working to achieve an end to suicide. Person by person, situation by situation, we are getting there.

Our longed-for aim is to be present and involved before the wheels come off. It is a tragedy that any person could ever reach the point of suicidal distress. It is, therefore, crucial that you know: The Retreat and Waimanako are not just for a particular type of situation or level of distress. We want to work to pull the amblance way, way back from the edge of the cliff. Sometimes people say, "Do I have to be suicidal to access your support?" Nope. Just wonderfully human! This means you!

Shared with permission, "I saw you guys are celebrating five years. Happy Birthday!! I was one of your first Guests and I will never forget what you did for me and the others were staying too. I was so broken, and I knew I couldn't go on any more. I owe my life to the Retreat and that I am now clean, free and can honestly say, a good mother. It was hard to write that, but I know that it's true."

Partnership with New Plymouth District Council enabled Waimanako;/The Hope Centre to be established in 2021. YESSS!! The service focuses on developing and implementing care models which will strengthen the community, build whānau resilience, improve and facilitate access to support with equity through increased integration of services to better link community, primary and secondary services.

• Waimanako is a space (five premises in all) in which:
  • Clinical and non-clinical services can collaborate to provide a simple and immediate point of access; information (and onward referral to allied services as appropriate)
  • There's peer listening support; well-being services (through a raft of workshops such as “Wellness”, “Stress Busters”, “Grief and Loss Support”, “Recovery Support”, “Connection through Creativity”, "You are Not Your Thoughts")
  • We offer simple, nutritious kai for koha ("Pay What you Feel") - By the way - our new Baked Spuds menu is such a HIT! A delicious feed, and my personal favourite... Specially with creamy mushrooms... Mmmmm
  • Taranaki has an evening sober socialising space to support people abstaining, and helping us all to re-connect after so many lockdowns. This ‘safe space’ is available to the community six days a week, through to 9pm. One day, when funding allows, we yearn to see those hours to be increased to a 24/7 service. It needs to be!
  • Waimanako supports hundreds of whānau by appointment and drop-in each week, and also tends to the needs of our rough sleepers in the city - providing food, respectful listening ears; and company on the journey. We are blessed to offer constant coffees and kai, and that the threshold feels safe to cross without judgement.

• The most important aspect of it all, though, is the provision of an option for anyone who needs it, to be able to access listening support now - without appointment or barriers. We all know that ED is not always the right place, when the wheels are wobbling off - often, the opportunity to connect into a support journey, today - simply and with the help of a feed and a hot chocolate is the right answer.
• One evening this week, I was on Listening Ear duty. One of those I supported articulated, with tears (shared with consent), "I took myself up Paritutu today. Then some kids arrived and of course I couldn't do it. Somebody told me about this place. I just need someone to talk to."
• The hospo wrap-around also gave us the ability to partner with MSD with a pilot project. and offer placements for people working through difficult times, to find a pathway back to mahi. It's been the coolest thing, and the people we have met and worked with through it - have brought such amazing energy and courage into Waimanako. We mihi to them.... and are very, very hopeful that the vision is there to offer this as a long-term programme for our community.

Here's what a few of our visitors have written down about Waimanako:

• As someone who struggles tith BPD, I live alone and pay a LOT in bills. Appreciative of the generosity and kindness
• Love it! 2nd time here and the food was lovely. Will be a regular for sure. The whole idea is inspirational.
• Great place, lovely comfort kai. our community is very lucky to have  such a wonderful place to come to. Nga mihi ki a koutou moe te kai reka!
• Fabulous - thank you for lovely warm space and fab food. I am encouraging my tweens (who seem to think town is a 'cool' place to out with their friends) to hang at here as it is a safe place to be!
• Thank you so, so much for your manakitanga. Blessings

• Also on World Suicide Prevention Day - you are warmly and lovingly invited to visit Waimanako at any time during the day or evening (10am-9pm). A space will be set aside for you to light a candle, and for reflection, with quiet music. Karakia will be provided, and a support person will be available to stand alongside you as you light your candle, and share - or take some time in quiet. To all attending, we welcome you to receive a wristband and a hot chocolate or coffee 'on the house' - and to write a message. More details here
• Tues 13th Sept - International Chocolate Day!  Even more reason to celebrate... Chocolate-themed events will be happening during the day and evening at Waimanako (remember those chocolate fountain days? They're back!)
• Sat 17th Sept 9am-1pm - Pop Up Op Shop and Bake Sale at Waimanako: Clothing, books, toys, handmade crafts, furniture, quilted blankets
• Sat 17th Sept - Soul Board Workshop, Waimanako.  Join Liz, our LIfe Coach for this popular workshop, all ticket money going to Taranaki Retreat.  More details and to reserve your space here
• Sat 24th Sept - Our Living Library Event.  We are really excited to have this back in the mix again!  We have some human books lined up to share their story.  Click here to decide which stories you want to book in for...
• 26th September - October 2nd - Mental Health Awareness Week - there will be many workshops on during this week for you to come and get involved in! 

​Check out our birthday page, and refer back to it regularly for updates, if you would like to receive the newsletter, then please subscribe here.
Phewwwww!!

We suspect that you're busy. You took the time to read through our newsletter today. Lovingly, we thank you for the gift of that time. We acknowledge YOU, and your journey.
We send you our aroha and manaakitanga.
Jamie, and all at Taranaki Retreat - Space to Breathe

Life can feel pretty full on right now!  With technology we can get a stream of news and updates 24/7 if we allowed it, and there’s a lot of news out there at the moment.  It can feel incredibly overwhelming and pretty scary at times.  It’s not just the news, there can be other things going on in our world too that can lead us to feel pretty bleak or struggling. 

This isn’t just a message to tell you to turn off the news, although reducing our intake of that can certainly help.  I have been talking with people how that constant stream of input is exhausting and triggers a part of our brain that is there to protect us, ends up getting potentially constantly triggered.  It can keep us constantly up in our headspace.

We have our headspace and we have our heartspace and we absolutely need both,  our headspace is around action and doing, our heartspace is around being, play, creativity.  Too much time in our head for whatever reason can make life very hard.  

The kindest action we can take for our weary mind are steps that show it that we are safe, that we are connected, that we are supported.  Steps for this could be around slowing the pace of life down, taking time to watch the waves, putting some calming music on or lighting a candle.  It might be revisiting that creativity project, some gentle colouring, getting out in the garden, picking up the instrument that you haven’t played for a while…

What could be something you could do to drop in and reconnect with your heartspace today?

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There is a sizeable selection of support available through the Covid and Cost of Living impacts. Have a read and see whether you may benefit from some of these initatives:-

• For businesses, a reminder that the Covid Support Payment Round Two is now open (round one can still be applied for). To be eligible for this funding, a business simply needs to have experienced a 40% drop off in revenue between a current-ish week and a comparison week between 5th Jan and 15th Feb either 2021 OR 2022. There will also be a third round, opening soon. It is incredibly easy to apply.
• For Employers, this information and other supports (eg Small Business Cashflow Scheme Top-Up Loans) can be discussed by calling 0800 40 80 40.
• For individuals or whānau in need of financial support – there are a wealth of options, and you don’t need to be on a benefit to be eligible. The Covid-19 Welfare Line is 0800 512 337. They are there to work with people who are doing it tough, and will suggest ways to help. This could include, for example:
  • Food
  • Accommodation
  • Utilities
  • Dental work
  • Glasses
  • Whiteware
  • Medical costs
  • Bereavement-related costs
  • Repairs and maintenance on a property

• Have you tried googling "Covid-19 Financial Support Tool” – and check it out – it is a way of stepping through the options
• Support for our elderly may be possible through Age Concern to help them navigate what’s needed.
• There are also specific supports available for:
  • People living with disabilities or illness
  • Veterans
  • Caregivers or Partners of the above
  • …and many more

Feel that you may qualify or maybe you don't think you do, either way if it feels too much, too daunting or you just don't have the capacity please get in touch...

Ten thoughts on courage
​1. Courage isn’t about not having fear, it is about having and feeling that fear but still going ahead and finding our way through it.
2. Courage is about hearing the negative thoughts, the red zone story reel that we have running, and not letting that rule, not letting that take over our life.  It is acknowledging that the changes that we are embarking on or the steps we are taking may not feel safe, they may well feel unfamiliar because they are new, but having the determination to make them, however, small those steps have to be…
3. By being courageous we gain evidence that we are capable, we can do whatever it is, and each piece of courageous evidence from the green zone helps us to break down that red zone story reel of b*llshit that we have running.  
The best bit about this is that we can gain evidence that we are capable, that we are deserving, through the smallest of steps, smallest of actions, and the more of those steps and actions we can take, the more evidence we are gaining to disprove the beliefs, to break down that story reel.  Those actions can ‘simply’ be about doing something different, and we have so many opportunities to do that during the day.  
It could be choosing a different drink/type of coffee when going out, it could be going a different way to work, it could be trying a recipe of something you have cooked so many times over.  The best bit?  We might hate the turmeric latte, we may believe our recipe is actually better, the end result doesn’t matter half as much as the decision to do something different!  That is where the healing is.
4. What has stopped us before?  Fear, others’ beliefs and values that we have taken on, society’s expectations, cultural say-so, previous experiences related to it or not; not even our own experiences, stories we have been told.  We don’t want to dwell here, but recognising what some of those barriers have been in the past, can help us be aware of them when they do pop up again…
5. Change takes courage and courage takes energy.  When we are in a place of making a choice, the choice that will lead us closer to where we want to be can often feel the harder thing, the option that requires us to be vulnerable, it requires more patience, more resilience, more capacity, and therefore more courage.  
It is much easier to carry on doing the same thing we have always done, we know what it looks like and feels like, we know how others react to us in that space.  For us to have the energy to be courageous to make the changes we want we need to be filling up the tanks and doing self-care.  Navigating change from an empty tank can make the journey much harder, so when setting goals or making plans please factor in how you are going to look after yourself along the way….
6. Courage can enable us to meet others with empathy. When we have faced situations, when we have walked through our fears, when we have approached heartache or whatever it might be and navigated our way through, then we can sit alongside someone and say “I may not have been through the same thing, but I get it.”
7. I have read in a few places that one of the biggest regrets of the dying is not about what they have done, it is about what they hadn’t.  What if you were able to reduce some of those regrets by taking some courageous steps in this chapter of your life.
8. Being connected to our true self can help make life different in so many ways.  I describe our core values as the backbone of our soul.  When we know who we are we can find that we have resources we can draw on, as well as being sure that what we are working towards, the changes that we are wanting to make, are actually ours.  Our true essence is always there, it never leaves us.  Sometimes it takes courage to find our way home.
9. As mentioned before change involves us being vulnerable, not only is this made easier when we have energy but also when we have that connection to our true self, when we have those foundations in place, it can help us to feel safer, to find and create the safe spaces that we need to enable us to get back up the next day and do what is required of us.
10. If we are not open to change if we are not willing to be vulnerable, if we are not able to sit with pain and loss, then we do miss out on the good stuff too.  We miss out on joy, love, connection, wholesomeness.  The courage to feel it all, the red and the green, the dark and the light.  The courage to stay with what we are feeling, the experience we are growing through and whatever it is bringing us.  All the things that keep us in our box. The things that keep us in our okay life, potentially safe life, doing what we have always done, nothing too bad, but nothing too great either.  Then one day we will hear a whisper “is this it? Is there anything else?”  It is up to us whether we answer that question of our soul.

Twelve ideas to help you feel safe….
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It can be very hard to take on the logical head-based stuff when we are in fight or flight. When we are in that place of fear, that place where survival is the priority (even if it’s a modern-day situation as opposed to an actual life and death situation) our brain isn’t worried about the difference. It is doing its bit to protect us.
Fear is created by our mind to protect us from feeling things in the same way again. To protect us from our pain. To keep us safe. It recognises that we have been through something in the past and wants to ensure we don’t go through it again. It creates a story reel of fears, concerns, beliefs that we often hear chugging away. We want to reassure our mind, that yes, this may be painful, uncomfortable, but we have more awareness now, more understanding, different tools and we  want to work through it.
There is a Buddhist saying that saying “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”  Fear can not be avoided, but when faced, we can learn to navigate our way through it and it can release its hold.

1. Remove the bandage – So often the story reel of thoughts cause feelings that are painful for us, and so we reach for our phone to scroll, pour a drink, smoke, work harder, give too much to too many. We do what we can to numb, avoid or resist what is going on. If we are courageous enough to accept the situation as it is right now and feel what we are feeling, we are often able to navigate through it more compassionately.

2. Be present – When you are in a situation and you can feel the fear rising, ask yourself ‘Am I safe right now?’ We want to help the brain realise that yes the fight and flight has been triggered, but right now in this very situation, we are safe. It may feel incredibly uncomfortable, but we are safe.  Acceptance of where we are at can help bring us back to the present, as opposed to worrying, catastrophising, projecting and more.

3. Release the pain – What ways are you able to release the pain, the stuck energy and emotions that may be inside of you? I often do it through journaling, crying and movement. Other ways can be through exercise, drumming, singing, laughing, breathwork. I highly recommend finding your way to release on a regular basis, as well as the ways that work for you in the moment.

4. Be kind to yourself – How would you talk to a young child that was afraid or anxious? How can you talk to yourself in the same way, give yourself some compassion.

5. Small steps – What are some tiny steps towards your goals that are achievable that can help you feel a sense of accomplishment, get a dopamine hit? These would send messages back to the brain that it’s safe, I am in control.

When we do start moving forward and take responsibility for where we are at, we collect more evidence for our true self, evidence of what we are capable of. This will cause the gremlins to start losing their grip. They will shout louder. They will encourage you back to your shell, encourage you to retreat, withdraw. Know that they are shouting louder because they realise change is happening, and they are more than concerned!

6. Practice gratitude – Thinking of three things you are grateful for every day can help us spot the good stuff, can help our mind to focus on other things around us, rather than focusing on or ruminating on the negative which it is wired to do, again, to keep us safe.

7. Don’t believe everything – It is recommended to be mindful of the news and other influences we are taking on at this time; but also our thoughts!  Being mindful of what they are coming up with, a lot of the time the unhelpful thoughts are beliefs, they are not true. Good to put some distance – between you and them.

8. Self care – That’s right! This one gets a mention at every opportunity!  Absolutely vital one.  Uncertain times require energy, compassion, patience, courage, all much easier to practice when our tanks are full. It’s also another way of our mind being able to see that we can make healthy choices at this time.

9. Morning intentions – Give the mind something to work with – how am I goig to look after myself today?  What can I do to get my goal moving forward a little further?  Who can I connect with today?  How do I want to show up today?  How will I have fun today?  Give your mind the opportunity to roll with some of the good stuff for a change!

10.  Don’t forget to breathe – What breathing pattern works for you?  I find the simple one of box breathing – breathe in for four, hold for four, exhale for four and hold for four – works really well for me.  Find one that works for you and bring that in to the mix even when you are not feeling heightened, so you can start to get use to using it.

11. Finding purpose – What about a random act of kindness for someone? How can we help, do our bit? We can not stay in a place of fear and carry out such an act at the same time. Love wins.

12. Sharing the load – Who can you share this journey with?  It can be easier to navigate a pathway through fear and uncertainty if we are in touch with people who can lift us up, bring that light and reassurance in to the mix. 
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Who could you connect with today, sure share where you are at but also remembering that there are other topics of conversation too, so wholesome when we can get on to some of them!  We are here too!  Contact the Retreat, or a similar organisation about support groups or one-on-one listening ears.  At times when our heart feels heavy and our nerves feel raw, sharing the load can make all the difference.

Yesterday I pushed myself to bike 10 km before turning around to return to the Retreat. Today I set out and as I commenced the undulating road towards the sea end of Hurford Road, my mind reflected on where I have come from and how similar my journey has been to today’s cycling this particular road. For every part of the road I got to cruise easily, I breathed and enjoyed the scenery. I could see the ocean in the distance and animals and landmarks around me.

As quickly as I got to cruising along straights I was met with the challenge of an incline in the road. Like my life, the cruising was quickly ended and the challenge of pushing myself up that hill kicked in. Breathing became laboured, my heart rate increased rapidly, my body hurt and the scenery wasn’t in my radar any longer. What was in front of me, the huge amount of effort and energy it took to keep me on the bike moving forwards was just like my life.

For every uphill battle however, light was on the other side. I pushed through to the top and “Hurray!” … what goes up, must come down!

I felt free and it was so exhilarating as I sped with ease, the wind whipping past my body and bike as I hurtled down the declining road, around a bend, breathing, enjoying the thrill of joyfully excited adrenaline rather than the all too often pulsating adrenaline brought about by constant shocks. All those damn traumatic experiences.

Hmm my life has been too much of a roller coaster ride over the past couple of years. I have lacked in those cruisy, flat places along the road, and struggled with way too many uphill rides. Today, I pushed through though. I stayed on that bike, despite feeling a sore bum. I saw clarity and worked out the math. I didn’t have too much further to get to the main road. I wanted to stay in the saddle and cycle for the entire duration of the Hurford Road…the uphills, the downhills and the flats. I want and need my life after the Retreat to get to that place again.

That balance I have always strived for in my every day….I want it! I need it and I see now that I deserve it!

​14 km yesterday putting a neglected spirit and body on a bike that hasn’t been cared for in a while to 16 km today. Goals, vision, direction, clarity and determination to rise up healthier and stronger and happier. Ahhhh! I’m liking this feeling....