There is a sizeable selection of support available through the Covid and Cost of Living impacts. Have a read and see whether you may benefit from some of these initatives:-

• For businesses, a reminder that the Covid Support Payment Round Two is now open (round one can still be applied for). To be eligible for this funding, a business simply needs to have experienced a 40% drop off in revenue between a current-ish week and a comparison week between 5th Jan and 15th Feb either 2021 OR 2022. There will also be a third round, opening soon. It is incredibly easy to apply.
• For Employers, this information and other supports (eg Small Business Cashflow Scheme Top-Up Loans) can be discussed by calling 0800 40 80 40.
• For individuals or whānau in need of financial support – there are a wealth of options, and you don’t need to be on a benefit to be eligible. The Covid-19 Welfare Line is 0800 512 337. They are there to work with people who are doing it tough, and will suggest ways to help. This could include, for example:
  • Food
  • Accommodation
  • Utilities
  • Dental work
  • Glasses
  • Whiteware
  • Medical costs
  • Bereavement-related costs
  • Repairs and maintenance on a property

• Have you tried googling "Covid-19 Financial Support Tool” – and check it out – it is a way of stepping through the options
• Support for our elderly may be possible through Age Concern to help them navigate what’s needed.
• There are also specific supports available for:
  • People living with disabilities or illness
  • Veterans
  • Caregivers or Partners of the above
  • …and many more

Feel that you may qualify or maybe you don't think you do, either way if it feels too much, too daunting or you just don't have the capacity please get in touch...

Ten thoughts on courage
​1. Courage isn’t about not having fear, it is about having and feeling that fear but still going ahead and finding our way through it.
2. Courage is about hearing the negative thoughts, the red zone story reel that we have running, and not letting that rule, not letting that take over our life.  It is acknowledging that the changes that we are embarking on or the steps we are taking may not feel safe, they may well feel unfamiliar because they are new, but having the determination to make them, however, small those steps have to be…
3. By being courageous we gain evidence that we are capable, we can do whatever it is, and each piece of courageous evidence from the green zone helps us to break down that red zone story reel of b*llshit that we have running.  
The best bit about this is that we can gain evidence that we are capable, that we are deserving, through the smallest of steps, smallest of actions, and the more of those steps and actions we can take, the more evidence we are gaining to disprove the beliefs, to break down that story reel.  Those actions can ‘simply’ be about doing something different, and we have so many opportunities to do that during the day.  
It could be choosing a different drink/type of coffee when going out, it could be going a different way to work, it could be trying a recipe of something you have cooked so many times over.  The best bit?  We might hate the turmeric latte, we may believe our recipe is actually better, the end result doesn’t matter half as much as the decision to do something different!  That is where the healing is.
4. What has stopped us before?  Fear, others’ beliefs and values that we have taken on, society’s expectations, cultural say-so, previous experiences related to it or not; not even our own experiences, stories we have been told.  We don’t want to dwell here, but recognising what some of those barriers have been in the past, can help us be aware of them when they do pop up again…
5. Change takes courage and courage takes energy.  When we are in a place of making a choice, the choice that will lead us closer to where we want to be can often feel the harder thing, the option that requires us to be vulnerable, it requires more patience, more resilience, more capacity, and therefore more courage.  
It is much easier to carry on doing the same thing we have always done, we know what it looks like and feels like, we know how others react to us in that space.  For us to have the energy to be courageous to make the changes we want we need to be filling up the tanks and doing self-care.  Navigating change from an empty tank can make the journey much harder, so when setting goals or making plans please factor in how you are going to look after yourself along the way….
6. Courage can enable us to meet others with empathy. When we have faced situations, when we have walked through our fears, when we have approached heartache or whatever it might be and navigated our way through, then we can sit alongside someone and say “I may not have been through the same thing, but I get it.”
7. I have read in a few places that one of the biggest regrets of the dying is not about what they have done, it is about what they hadn’t.  What if you were able to reduce some of those regrets by taking some courageous steps in this chapter of your life.
8. Being connected to our true self can help make life different in so many ways.  I describe our core values as the backbone of our soul.  When we know who we are we can find that we have resources we can draw on, as well as being sure that what we are working towards, the changes that we are wanting to make, are actually ours.  Our true essence is always there, it never leaves us.  Sometimes it takes courage to find our way home.
9. As mentioned before change involves us being vulnerable, not only is this made easier when we have energy but also when we have that connection to our true self, when we have those foundations in place, it can help us to feel safer, to find and create the safe spaces that we need to enable us to get back up the next day and do what is required of us.
10. If we are not open to change if we are not willing to be vulnerable, if we are not able to sit with pain and loss, then we do miss out on the good stuff too.  We miss out on joy, love, connection, wholesomeness.  The courage to feel it all, the red and the green, the dark and the light.  The courage to stay with what we are feeling, the experience we are growing through and whatever it is bringing us.  All the things that keep us in our box. The things that keep us in our okay life, potentially safe life, doing what we have always done, nothing too bad, but nothing too great either.  Then one day we will hear a whisper “is this it? Is there anything else?”  It is up to us whether we answer that question of our soul.

Twelve ideas to help you feel safe….
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It can be very hard to take on the logical head-based stuff when we are in fight or flight. When we are in that place of fear, that place where survival is the priority (even if it’s a modern-day situation as opposed to an actual life and death situation) our brain isn’t worried about the difference. It is doing its bit to protect us.
Fear is created by our mind to protect us from feeling things in the same way again. To protect us from our pain. To keep us safe. It recognises that we have been through something in the past and wants to ensure we don’t go through it again. It creates a story reel of fears, concerns, beliefs that we often hear chugging away. We want to reassure our mind, that yes, this may be painful, uncomfortable, but we have more awareness now, more understanding, different tools and we  want to work through it.
There is a Buddhist saying that saying “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”  Fear can not be avoided, but when faced, we can learn to navigate our way through it and it can release its hold.

1. Remove the bandage – So often the story reel of thoughts cause feelings that are painful for us, and so we reach for our phone to scroll, pour a drink, smoke, work harder, give too much to too many. We do what we can to numb, avoid or resist what is going on. If we are courageous enough to accept the situation as it is right now and feel what we are feeling, we are often able to navigate through it more compassionately.

2. Be present – When you are in a situation and you can feel the fear rising, ask yourself ‘Am I safe right now?’ We want to help the brain realise that yes the fight and flight has been triggered, but right now in this very situation, we are safe. It may feel incredibly uncomfortable, but we are safe.  Acceptance of where we are at can help bring us back to the present, as opposed to worrying, catastrophising, projecting and more.

3. Release the pain – What ways are you able to release the pain, the stuck energy and emotions that may be inside of you? I often do it through journaling, crying and movement. Other ways can be through exercise, drumming, singing, laughing, breathwork. I highly recommend finding your way to release on a regular basis, as well as the ways that work for you in the moment.

4. Be kind to yourself – How would you talk to a young child that was afraid or anxious? How can you talk to yourself in the same way, give yourself some compassion.

5. Small steps – What are some tiny steps towards your goals that are achievable that can help you feel a sense of accomplishment, get a dopamine hit? These would send messages back to the brain that it’s safe, I am in control.

When we do start moving forward and take responsibility for where we are at, we collect more evidence for our true self, evidence of what we are capable of. This will cause the gremlins to start losing their grip. They will shout louder. They will encourage you back to your shell, encourage you to retreat, withdraw. Know that they are shouting louder because they realise change is happening, and they are more than concerned!

6. Practice gratitude – Thinking of three things you are grateful for every day can help us spot the good stuff, can help our mind to focus on other things around us, rather than focusing on or ruminating on the negative which it is wired to do, again, to keep us safe.

7. Don’t believe everything – It is recommended to be mindful of the news and other influences we are taking on at this time; but also our thoughts!  Being mindful of what they are coming up with, a lot of the time the unhelpful thoughts are beliefs, they are not true. Good to put some distance – between you and them.

8. Self care – That’s right! This one gets a mention at every opportunity!  Absolutely vital one.  Uncertain times require energy, compassion, patience, courage, all much easier to practice when our tanks are full. It’s also another way of our mind being able to see that we can make healthy choices at this time.

9. Morning intentions – Give the mind something to work with – how am I goig to look after myself today?  What can I do to get my goal moving forward a little further?  Who can I connect with today?  How do I want to show up today?  How will I have fun today?  Give your mind the opportunity to roll with some of the good stuff for a change!

10.  Don’t forget to breathe – What breathing pattern works for you?  I find the simple one of box breathing – breathe in for four, hold for four, exhale for four and hold for four – works really well for me.  Find one that works for you and bring that in to the mix even when you are not feeling heightened, so you can start to get use to using it.

11. Finding purpose – What about a random act of kindness for someone? How can we help, do our bit? We can not stay in a place of fear and carry out such an act at the same time. Love wins.

12. Sharing the load – Who can you share this journey with?  It can be easier to navigate a pathway through fear and uncertainty if we are in touch with people who can lift us up, bring that light and reassurance in to the mix. 
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Who could you connect with today, sure share where you are at but also remembering that there are other topics of conversation too, so wholesome when we can get on to some of them!  We are here too!  Contact the Retreat, or a similar organisation about support groups or one-on-one listening ears.  At times when our heart feels heavy and our nerves feel raw, sharing the load can make all the difference.

Yesterday I pushed myself to bike 10 km before turning around to return to the Retreat. Today I set out and as I commenced the undulating road towards the sea end of Hurford Road, my mind reflected on where I have come from and how similar my journey has been to today’s cycling this particular road. For every part of the road I got to cruise easily, I breathed and enjoyed the scenery. I could see the ocean in the distance and animals and landmarks around me.

As quickly as I got to cruising along straights I was met with the challenge of an incline in the road. Like my life, the cruising was quickly ended and the challenge of pushing myself up that hill kicked in. Breathing became laboured, my heart rate increased rapidly, my body hurt and the scenery wasn’t in my radar any longer. What was in front of me, the huge amount of effort and energy it took to keep me on the bike moving forwards was just like my life.

For every uphill battle however, light was on the other side. I pushed through to the top and “Hurray!” … what goes up, must come down!

I felt free and it was so exhilarating as I sped with ease, the wind whipping past my body and bike as I hurtled down the declining road, around a bend, breathing, enjoying the thrill of joyfully excited adrenaline rather than the all too often pulsating adrenaline brought about by constant shocks. All those damn traumatic experiences.

Hmm my life has been too much of a roller coaster ride over the past couple of years. I have lacked in those cruisy, flat places along the road, and struggled with way too many uphill rides. Today, I pushed through though. I stayed on that bike, despite feeling a sore bum. I saw clarity and worked out the math. I didn’t have too much further to get to the main road. I wanted to stay in the saddle and cycle for the entire duration of the Hurford Road…the uphills, the downhills and the flats. I want and need my life after the Retreat to get to that place again.

That balance I have always strived for in my every day….I want it! I need it and I see now that I deserve it!

​14 km yesterday putting a neglected spirit and body on a bike that hasn’t been cared for in a while to 16 km today. Goals, vision, direction, clarity and determination to rise up healthier and stronger and happier. Ahhhh! I’m liking this feeling....

Here are some ideas that I hope may help ease a little bit of anxiety that can come up around covid. These may help in small moments when a level change is announced or may help in larger chunks during a time of lockdown.

What can you take control of – I feel this is a biggy – when we change levels, it can feel like we lose control over various things, where we can go, who we can see etc. It can help to focus on the things we can control, our daily routine, whether we get dressed or not, who we connect with, how much news we watch, our physical space, the housekeeping and whether we decide to do some of these other ideas.

What makes you feel safe – Before the first lockdown, I filled my car up with petrol, ironic when we couldn’t go anywhere, but it made me feel safe. Routine can help us feel safe, whether you are able to stick to your normal routine or whether you want to create a specific routine that may incorporate some of these ideas, or takes into account homeschooling with the kids, work commitments, caring for others for example.

Focus on what we have, focus on the good – Brene Brown often talks about a gratitude blast, so whether it is a gratitude blast in the moment, or a regular gratitude practice – finding three things each day that you are grateful for, can help us focus our mind away from covid and towards the more positive things in our life. Remember – think small! If you hear of a good news story of something that has happened in your community or anywhere for that matter, is there someone else that would appreciate reading it that you could pass it on to. It might be just what they are needing right now…

How can you spread kindness – When we focus on the needs of others, it can help us forget what is going on for us at that time. Is there someone you know is on their own and you can give them a call, can you help with grocery shopping, can you support a local business, what about your regular go-tos, can you write them a review or leave some positive feedback.

Space – Be aware that this is what you may be needing in your household from time to time, just as others will, how can you create that and communicate that.

Connect – Can you jump on the phone, skype, FaceTime, or other way of connecting with people; this can help remind us that we are not on our own, who are those friends that maybe you lose track of time, maybe you always have a laugh, that good friend that you just haven’t had a chance to catch up with for ages…

News and social media – Yes we want to keep informed, but it can only add to fears and anxiety if we are constantly looking. What else can you do in this time? Get lost in a book, declutter a drawer, do some journaling to release some of those fears, in fact any of these other points suggested.

Fresh air – Moving our body isn’t just for the exercise itself, it can help to shift energy, it can help us to feel grounded, it can connect us back to nature, it can give us a sense of achievement as well. Not able to then try and get windows open at home to blow some of the cobwebs away…

Exercise – As we know one of the most effective anti-depressants around, so what works for you? Yes if it is outside then you get those benefits as well, but since the first lockdown there has been so much more online, and different videos loaded on YouTube etc., so what do you feel you need something high energy and releasing, something to get the heart pumping, or something to relax and ground you like pilates or yoga?

What are you eating and drinking – Just being really mindful of what you are reaching for? It can be so easy to repeat old patterns, or eat and drink the things that bring us comfort or help us to avoid what’s going on. Bring a pause in, and see if you can explore what is really going on at that point. Is there something else on this list that maybe you could do or try instead?

Feel the feelings – What you are feeling is real, in these scenarios it is not helpful to compare ourselves to others’ experiences, what you are feeling is real, and is your journey, so acknowledge that and then decide what you need to help yourself through that time.

Is there a project you can get stuck in to – whether that be something with the house, photos to sort, a trilogy to read, a creative piece to start or finish, accounts to do (snore), whatever it might be that not only focuses your mind on something else for a while, can give you other warm fuzzies like a sense of accomplishment, ticking something off, getting organised etc

Get the cat videos out – what are the things online that make you laugh, do you have a favourite series or comedian that always brings on a chuckle, can be such a source of release and relief.

Take one moment at a time – It can feel hard when we don’t have a timeline, or not sure when it is going to end, so chunking it down, taking one day at a time, setting intentions in the morning for how you want that day to roll out, small step by small step.

We are here for you.
​

​As New Zealand navigates covid again, I am reminded of the fear and uncertainty that this brings many people.  I have come up with some ideas that I hope may help ease a little bit of anxiety that may be coming up.  These may help in small moments as the country awaits to hear what is the next step, or may help in larger chunks during a time of lockdown.

1. What can you take control of - I feel this is a biggy - when we change levels or when we were in Level 4, it can feel like we lose control over various things, where we can go, who we can see etc.  I encourage people to focus on the things we can control, our daily routine, whether we get dressed or not, who we connect with, how much news we watch, our physical space, the housekeeping and whether we decide to do some of these other ideas.
2. What makes you feel safe - Before the first lockdown, I filled my car up with petrol, ironic when we couldn’t go anywhere, but it made me feel safe.  Routine can help people feel safe, whether you are able to stick to your normal routine or whether you want to create a specific routine that may incorporate some of these ideas, or takes into account homeschooling with the kids for example.
3. Focus on what we have, focus on the good - Brene Brown often talks about a gratitude blast, so whether it is a gratitude blast in the moment, or a regular gratitude practice - finding three things each day that you are grateful for, can help us focus our mind away from covid and towards the more positive things in our life.  Remember - think small!  If you hear of a good news story of something that has happened in your community or anywhere for that matter, is there someone else that would appreciate reading it that you could pass it on to.  It might be just what they are needing right now...
4. How can you spread kindness - When we focus on the needs of others, it can help us forget what is going on for us at that time.  Is there someone you know is on their own and you can give them a call, can you help with grocery shopping, can you support a local cafe, what about your regular go-tos, can you write them a review or leave some positive feedback.
5. Space - Be aware that this is what you may be needing on your household from time to time, just as others will, how can you create that and communicate that.
6. News and social media - Yes we want to keep informed, but it can only add to fears and anxiety if we are constantly looking at numbers/rates/conspiracy theories and whatever else.  What else can you do in this time?  Get lost in a book, declutter a drawer, do some journaling to release some of those fears, in fact any of these other points suggested.
7. Fresh air - Moving our body isn’t just for the exercise itself, it can help to shift energy, it can help us to feel grounded, it can connect us back to nature, it can give us a sense of achievement as well.  Not able to then try and get windows open at home to blow some of the cobwebs away...
8. Exercise -  As we know one of the most effective anti-depressants around, so what works for you?  Yes if it is outside then you get those benefits from point 3 as well, but since the first lockdown there has been so much more online, and different videos loaded on YouTube etc., so what do you feel you need something high energy and releasing, something to get the heart pumping, or something to relax and ground you like pilates or yoga?
9. What are you eating and drinking - Just being really mindful of what you are reaching for?  It can be so easy to repeat old patterns, or eat and drink the things that bring us comfort or help us to avoid what’s going on.  Bring a pause in, and see if you can explore what is really going on at that point.  Is there something else on this list that maybe you could do or try instead?
10. Feel the feelings - What you are feeling is real, in these scenarios it is not helpful to compare ourselves to others’ experiences, what you are feeling is real, and is your journey, so acknowledge that and then decide what you need to help yourself through that time.
11. Connect - Can you jump on the phone, skype, FaceTime, or other way of connecting with people; this can help remind us that we are not on our own, who are those friends that maybe you lose track of time, maybe you always have a laugh, that good friend that you just haven’t had a chance to catch up with for ages…
12. Is there a project you can get stuck in to - whether that be something with the house, photos to sort, a trilogy to read, a creative piece to start or finish, accounts to do (snore), whatever it might be that not only focuses your mind on something else for a while, can give you other warm fuzzies like a sense of achievement, ticking something off, getting organised etc
13. Get the cat videos out - what are the things online that make you laugh, do you have a favourite series or comedian that always brings on a chuckle, can be such a source of release and relief
14. Take one moment at a time - It can feel hard when we don’t have a timeline, or not sure when it is going to end, so chunking it down, taking one day at a time, setting intentions in the morning for how you want that day to roll out, small step by small step. Remember although we may not know when this will end, do keep in mind that this at some point will pass too.

Have you seen the movie “The Greatest Showman?”

Even though I missed the experience watching it in the cinema I feel like I will always remember when and how I watched it. Friends invited me to their lovely home and after cooking together we watched the movie while eating (yes, more food 😊!) Belgian waffles. If you haven’t watched it so far, I would highly recommend to do so. It’s about dreams, friendship, creativity and believing in yourself.

One song really touched me when I properly listened to the lyrics.

It starts off quietly and you cannot only hear but feel the pain and the hurt in the voice. With each verse the song is getting stronger and more powerful. 
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The message is loud and clear – You are worthy, you are brave and there is only one beautiful you. Don’t hide, don’t allow anyone to put you down and don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough to be loved. Say strongly and loudly “This is me”!

 
“This is me” by Keala Settle

I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are
But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades and
Reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become)
I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
This is me
And I know that I deserve your love
(Oh-oh-oh-oh) There's nothing I'm not worthy of
(Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
This is brave, this is bruised
This is who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
I'm gonna send a flood
Gonna drown 'em out
Oh
This is me

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